Saturday, August 2, 2008

3

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to pur- chase a bull from another ranch so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home. The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her the word 'comfortable'." The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bul." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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Great Quotes

"Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work; I merely inflict myself on the public."
- the late English character actor, Robert Morsely

Indiana Jones: "I'm going after that truck." Sallah: "How?" Indiana Jones: "I don't know - I'm making this up as I go."

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." --Mel Brooks

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." -- WC Fields

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
-- Mario Andretti

"If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you."
-- Paul Newman

"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself."
-- Peter O'Toole.

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." -- Henry Ford

“When from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following, it was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life ,She said, "if it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."-Lewis Black

lists and notes

Movies or T.V. Series, I'd like made before I Die:

-"Planetary" based on the comic book by Warren Ellis
-"Top Ten"
-A worthy sequel to "The Thing",and
Kurt Russell has to be in it
-"100 Bullets"
-"Stray Bullets", and it has to be filmed in Baltimore.Period.
-"Liberty Meadows", rated R, and filmed like "Garfield"
-"The Avengers"
-An "Uncanny X-men" television series instead of some overblown film, done ala "Smallville"
-A "Star Wars" television series that explores not only stories about other characters inbetween the film series and history of the series but also the "What if's" as well.
-"Justice League"
-"Star Wars" 7,8,9 and maybe 10,11,12....
-HellBlazer movie or tv series,preferbly with an English Actor
-"Man on Fire" sequel.. Do you hear me Tony Scott!!! It was Denzel's best movie dammit!

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this is PLANETARY!!